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My First Mac

Apple

March 22, 2008 12:08 AM PST

Hi, my name is John, and I'm an Apple hater. Well at least that's what they make me say at Apple haters anonymous. You see, I have a problem. I've been hating Apple since 1982, the year my beloved Commodore 64 came out (may it rest in peace). That's a long time. A habit practiced that long becomes a part of you. But I am working on it. A few years ago I started a 12 step program, and I'm slowly making progress. I'm on step 6, and in this program it requires me to face the thing I hate head on.

After months of agonizing deliberation I found myself at the Apple store asking an overly cheerful associate to bring me the cheapest Mac they sold. At the mention of the word 'cheap' I saw a momentary crack in the facade as a sneer flashed across his face. But it was gone almost as soon as it had come, and he happily trotted of towards the back off the store. Before I knew it he was back and although there wasn't a cash register in sight my card was swiped, and a receipt was produced from thin air as if by magic. When my head cleared I found my self standing back in the mall holding a small white box with Apple logos on it.

I took the Mac mini home with some apprehension. After an hour or so into the relationship, it was clear we were not going to get along. I criticized its OS, it said something about my mother, I called Steve Jobs a name, and it refused to output anymore video. Check mate. The next day I went back to the Apple store and swapped it for one that wasn't set to evil. I got off to a rocky start with this mac too, but after a while we called a truce. Now it sits quietly on my desk, and through the magic of VNC, it happily serves up its bouncy GUI to whatever PC I happen to be using - at home or away. It doesn't complain that is is surrounded by PCs or that it is connected to Microsoft products. I no longer tense up when I look at it. I call it Minime.

So am I converted? No, far from it, but I am learning tolerance and that is real progress. Soon I hope to be ready for step 7. Hi, my name is John, and I'm trying real hard not to be an Apple hater.


Comments (9)
Paul, March 22, 2008 03:42 PM:

Be careful: step 7 is paying Apple's retail price for extra RAM. No one is ready for step 7.

Paul, March 24, 2008 06:49 PM:

Pic?

John, March 25, 2008 01:48 PM:

http://images.apple.com/macmini/gallery/images/gallery1img20060228.jpg

Paul, March 25, 2008 11:17 PM:

You just don't want to show a picture of your mini because it's likely trapped in some Silence of the Lambs pit in your basement.

John, March 26, 2008 12:01 AM:

..."It puts the lotion.jpg on its hard drive"...

You just don't believe that I actually have one. I suppose you'll be wanting me to take a photo of it with today's paper?

John, March 26, 2008 12:18 AM:

There are you happy? You can clearly see that it is still alive and well, and if you want it to stay that way you'll...

J, March 26, 2008 11:16 AM:

I'm surprised that you didn't have the 360 ON TOP of the mini :-)

Paul, March 26, 2008 11:52 AM:

ZOMG look at all the cables!

John, March 26, 2008 02:25 PM:

I thought you'd notice that. It is only the beginning. You can't see the rest of the cables behind the monitor or the mammoth pile of cables under the desk. I have two PCs a mac and a 360 connected to that monitor through a switch box plus various audio and spdif fibers back there. Luckily the wires are confined to the neither regions for the most part as I use a wireless mouse, keyboard, and headphones.






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